I've been in a very reflective mood for the past few weeks. It's funny how life changes from day to day and how we sometimes want to go back in time and go back to the way things used to be.
I remember clearly the joy of being able to stay at home with my children when they were little, the creative freedom it gave me and the licence to do whatever I wanted.
I remember trying to convince my husband into letting me go back to work when our youngest began school so I could contribute to the family income and make our lives "better"
I remember the fear of re-training and entering the corporate world once again and the time that it has taken me to get where I am today but now I feel my heart sliding back down the other side.
The want and need for life to get simple again.
I try very hard not to wish my life away but all I want is for life to be uncomplicated, I want to enjoy the little things again and savour every moment instead of not having the time to enjoy any moments, because the little things do matter. But the BIG things that can be avoided if life was to change, just get in the way.
Like sitting in the sunshine and relaxing, really sitting and really relaxing and not making 100 mental lists of the things that need to be done once I stop sitting in the sunshine - I know you will understand - It happens to you too - It happens to all of us.
But how do we get off this merry go round we are on?
I suppose we have to want it bad enough. Be prepared to make the sacrifices and make a priority of the things that matter to us. Shedding the things that don't ........
And do what makes us happy for our short stay in this life.
As you know I have been making changes for the past few months, all of them have come from much thought, discussion and tears. Letting go is always the hardest and the fear of the unknown the worst BUT each day I try to remind myself that I will fulfill my dreams in the end.
Fear keeps creeping in and making me doubt my decisions, But I am trying very hard to steady my resolve and feel comfortable with the unknown. Hopefully one day I will look back on this time and wonder why I didn't do it sooner.
But one thing I do know is that something has to change. I do not want life to have passed me by and left me wondering what it would have been like had I chased my dream of a creative and simple life.
So now I am on a journey of the heart - If only my brain would just butt out !
For those of you that have supported part of that dream "Fee's Shabby Shack" I thank you from the deepest loving chambers of my heart. Your support and custom has been amazing and I hope that The Shack can continue to bring some joy into your Inbox each day. The calls and e-mails of support have been wonderful and I simply cannot thank you enough.
So for now I am keeping on the path of following my dreams. Who knows where they will take me BUT one thing I do know for sure is that I will enjoy every moment of it, I will savour it and hopefully in the end I will be brave enough to endure it.
Love and Hugs,